Ding Ding Ding! With entry into Lockdown 5, I’ve racked up 50 Pandemic Poems. It’s not a prize I’m happy about winning.
This poem has been bubbling in my brain and dancing across my notebook for a month or so. I wanted to capture the feeling of being a “gambler” when in a manipulative/abusive relationship, which has some traumatic parallels to the way we’re forced to live now during this pandemic. I’ll probably keep working on it.
Continue reading “Pandemic Poem #50 / The Gambler”
I never used to listen to commercial radio, but now I have it on in the car, and sometimes while I do the dishes. I’m not completely averse to pop music anymore, however it does disturb me how so many modern love songs normalise disrespect, objectification and the notion that stalking is somehow an acceptable form of romance.
What disturbs me the most is that the songs on the radio are only a reflection of real attitudes to romance and dating. Attitudes I am unfortunately familiar with. Let me tell you what happened to me late last year.
Continue reading “Why “I Didn’t Mean To Hurt You” Is Not an Apology.”
Me, aged about 14 in the studio at Two State FM, Barham, March 2000
Bob McKinnon, Jason Nahrung, Zoe Werner & myself at Voice FM, Ballarat, May 2019. Photo by Pauline O’Shannessy Dowling.
I had such a good time recently on air on The Arts Program on 99.9 Voice FM as a guest presenter, that I’ll be doing it semi-regularly. Sitting in the studio is always a beautifully nostalgic place for me, because it takes me back to my formative years and reminds me of how connected I am to my parents.
Continue reading “Flashback Friday – On The Same Frequency”
Yesterday, my eldest child started school.
I’ve been counting down for five years until this moment. I thought I would skip off merrily after dropping him on the first day, and with a big sigh of relief have myself a mid-morning cocktail and a rest. I was sure I wouldn’t cry.
Continue reading “Starting School”
In April last year, I submitted three proposals to direct for a community theatre company in 2019 and 2020. In November 2018, a long six months later, I got a response to my proposals. And it floored me.
Continue reading “Why I’ve Turned My Back On Community Theatre”
Megan & Audrey brave the surf at Point Impossible
A Present for Mum
I hope everyone had a good day yesterday although I’m aware that this is absolutely not “the most wonderful time of the year” for a lot of people. And despite my attempted avoidance of all things Christmas (see my previous blog post), I did end up opening presents under a tree with my children at seven am and Santa is definitely gaining a foothold in reality.
Continue reading “Christmas Is Now”
Recently, I talked to an 84 year old lady who has written over twenty plays. I was interviewing her for an article I’m writing for the Central Highlands Arts Atlas. I asked her what her highlight was – and I meant in her theatre-making career – but she told me that meeting her husband, at age 17, at a dance at the Heidelberg Town Hall was the highlight of her life.
We spent most of the time chatting about her late husband, whom she was married to for 62 years.
It made me wonder what I’d done wrong to only last 11 years in my most significant relationship, and only a measly 6 months in my most recent.
Or what, in fact, had I done right. Continue reading “Everything changes”
I’ve been good at gathering evidence of my worthlessness throughout my life. At my first appointment with my new psychologist, she took one look at my answers to the test and asked me why I felt like I was so shit. And I thought, “Isn’t it obvious?”.
These thought patterns have recently manifested in some major anxiety and several panic attacks. So I’m spending a lot of energy at the moment analyzing why my brain focuses on the negative experiences and figuring out how to retrain it to notice and celebrate my worth.
Continue reading “On Worth”
For a long time people would tell me (often immediately after saying ‘Hi Megan’) that I looked tired. But recently people have been telling me that I look happy.
I’ve been working hard on giving myself new problems, and maybe that’s the only kind of happiness there is. Continue reading “Upgrading for Happiness”