I am currently sitting at my desk, drafting thank you notes to the cast of The Sum of Us – the fab four – in preparation for tonight. Being closing night, I have the equally awesome and awkward task of accepting thanks and accolades for a production well done and showering the cast and crew with the praise they deserve.
Around this time last year, I wrote a poetic portrait of my son and our kitten. Both have shed their baby looks since April 2017. And they are more used to each other now, him less heavy handed and her more patient.
I keep looking at job ads. I’m tempted for many reasons. I could do with the money. I want to advance my career. I get itchy feet if I’m doing the same thing for too long. But the truth is, I’m tempted because there’s a part of me that feels like the things I do for a living – parenting and theatre-making – are not legitimate pursuits. But then I remind myself that that’s bullshit and I already have a job. In fact, I have three.
Don’t ask me what my next step on my leadership journey is.
In the last month, as our final program days for the Leadership Ballarat Western Region Leaders Forum slid by, I was asked what my leadership plans were for next year, and I didn’t know how to answer. I still find pinpointing that goal elusive. At our graduation from the program, I felt none of the elation that my colleagues felt. I was not proud, I was exhausted. I was not excited, I was terrified. And here’s why.